You’ve heard it said that we should let go of the past. You’ve also heard that some things are easier said than done. Letting go of the past and moving forward certainly fits under the category of “easier said than done”.

William Faulkner said, “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” Without getting into a literary discussion of what Faulkner meant, my reference to the quote is to acknowledge that our past has certainly influenced who we are in the present and will most likely continue to shape our future. However, if we recognize its impact, we are in a better position to either use your past or let it go for an even more positive life from this point forward.

While there may indeed be things in your past that may have limited you in many ways, let’s focus on the most recent past, specifically most of the current year.

What has been the impact on your life of the lockdowns, social distancing, and worldwide chaos? How have you responded?

Common responses in times of extreme stress are to “flow, flee or fight”.

People who flow may be simply trying to weather the storms of life. They accept what is and wait for what is to come. They may feel they have little control to make decisions that impact their lives in positive ways. Just getting through each day is as much as they can handle.

People who flee may be denying the reality of the situation by responding as if they can continue life as it was before the changes thrust upon them. In this case, they may ignore the warnings about COVID-19 and continue to live their lives as if those dangers do not exist.

Then, there are the fighters. Those people acknowledge the dangers and arm themselves with knowledge and the means to manage their lives, even if there are many things out of their control. They embrace frequent hand washing, social distancing, and wearing masks in social situations as their best chances to survive and thrive in the current situation.

Which one are you – are you flowing, fleeing, or fighting? Which do you want to do?

Whatever your response to these questions, it’s more important to know how to do it. Most people will eventually come to grips with why they should do it. They get stuck on actually taking steps to make it happen.

Give yourself permission to let go of the past. That is an important step. And it’s probably a step you may have to repeat many times. Just telling yourself to let go may not be enough. Reflect on the parts of your past that will give you strength and recognize how negative past experiences can also contribute to your inner strength. Learn from your past experiences.

Take time to reflect upon how you want to live your life going forward. This involves coming to conclusions about what is working for you now and what is not and making decisions about how you want your life to be in the future.

Don’t hide from your past. People try to pretend certain aspects of their past did not happen, especially the more embarrassing moments. However, this may cause them to come back to you with a vengeance since they are bottling up within you. Acknowledge everything about your past but commit to pushing forward. Continuing to flee from your past is not the answer. Author James Baldwin wrote that “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

Keep a journal of your experiences. Simply recording your thoughts may help you see new and better ways of responding to life challenges.

Finally, where do you want to go from here? If your answer is to go back to the way things were, you may find yourself stuck and unable to do anything but flow with what happens to you. The pandemic changes everything. But how you change is up to you.

If you’re still unsure of what you can do to move your life forward, perhaps you would benefit from my mini-course Designing Your New Normal Mindset.  Click here to see if this may be a good starting point for you. There has never been a better time to reflect on your current situation by letting go of the past and taking charge of your future.

One good thing about today is that Hurricane Isaias has past and we are safe. There is more debris in the yard than in recent hurricanes. And we lost electrical power briefly, but lights are back on. Things could have been much worse.

I saw a Facebook meme recently that said “a hurricane heading to North Carolina is the most normal thing to happen in 2020”, which is so true! It’s hard to keep to a routine when you are always at home and every day is just like the previous day.

Although I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal for a couple of years now, sometimes I find it difficult to write down 5 things for which I’m grateful. I have a multitude of blessings for which I am grateful but living daily under the cloak of COVID-19, I find myself recording many of the same blessings each day. It’s hard to take a fresh look at things for which I’m grateful.

I found myself wondering if anyone else was experiencing the same thing. What if we started with recognizing “one good thing” that happened each day? That is a simple way to be more positive during trying times.

So, I created a One Good Thing a Day Journal for you. Actually, I created 4 journals! You can pick from two sizes, letter size (8 ½ “ x 11”) and 6” x 9” and two designs, one with flowers and a more gender-neutral one with clouds and sky.

I also made them interactive, so you can keep your journal on your computer or mobile device or print them out to complete.

The letter-sized journals have only one line to key in your daily One Good Thing. In the 6×9 journals, you are able to key in multiple lines, but the content scrolls up so you may not be able to see all the content if you add too many lines.

Feel free to share the journals with anyone you think might like to develop habits of gratitude. You could encourage children or grandchildren to start their own journal. All they have to do is to write down one good thing that happened to them daily.

You could also create a family tradition of not only writing daily in your journal but have a family sharing time to discuss what each of you wrote for the day. What a calming way to end the day as a family!

When you choose which journal you want to use, I recommend immediately making a copy of it so you can keep the original. Each journal file is for one month, so after making a copy, rename it for the month, such as AugustJournal2020. Then for each succeeding month, make a copy and rename it for that month.

Or if you prefer, just print out a copy for each month and start filling it out.

Here are links to your free One Good Thing a Day Journals. I’d love to hear how you used them in your family. Enjoy!

Even people who have never seen the 1960’s TV series, Twilight Zone, know about the concept. We all understand the rhythmic two-toned “doo-doo-doo-doo – doo-doo-doo-doo” uttered when something seems too strange to be true – all too applicable to the current times in which we live.

The world is in the throes of something none of us have seen in our lifetimes. Everything is relative, and to that end, we’ve had things pretty easy in the past. We didn’t realize that until our lives were changed without our permission. We may have thought we were in control, but all of a sudden, we are living in a world that has spun out of control.

We are bombarded with information, not all of which is true or helpful. What we choose to listen to can make us or break us. Yes, it’s that important.

It’s all right to give yourself some time to grieve. And I use that word because there has been a loss, a tremendous loss. The world as we knew it has changed and therefore, we are changed. Whether we admit it or not, we are not who we were before this “thing” changed us – changed the world. And that alone is frightening. It is frightening more that we probably allow ourselves to feel.

So what do we do? We’ve been told three things we must do, and yet many are resisting that. First, we must wash our hands, something we all thought we learned how to do as toddlers. But we had to relearn how to do something so simple we did it without forethought. So now we find ourselves singing “Happy Birthday”, with no one to celebrate and nothing to celebrate for.

Next, we must practice something that heretofore was not even terminology we recognized – social distancing. The standard was to stay at least six feet from another human being. Staying home was our best option to stay safe. How can we manage something so foreign to our busy lifestyles? How can we not go to work? How can we not be with other family members?

But then, how can we practice social distancing when our jobs are all about taking care of others? The many heroes who previously were unsung, who now risk their own lives in their quest to save ours have been working untold hours and under unbearable circumstances. Many of us have made their jobs even riskier by not heeding that simple directive – practice social distancing. Staying home is the new norm.

Finally, we must take precautions if we have to venture out into that new world. Hand sanitizers are everywhere we go. Although we weren’t told to do so at first, now we absolutely should wear face masks to be among those where social distancing is difficult, if not impossible to practice. And because medical personnel, fire and rescue heroes, among others must have first access to face masks, we must make our own.

So, is that all? What do we do now? I actually feel sorry for extroverts. It must be extremely hard for them to stay away from others as they try to practice social distancing. As a card-carrying introvert, I’m used to being alone with my thoughts. But even I am getting “cabin fever”. I want to BE with the rest of my family.

We need to be guardians of our thoughts. The tendency of many is to avoid thinking. How’s that working for us as an individual, a nation or the world? Who can we rely on? It has to start with ourselves and our family.

It seems like we are in some type of purgatory, stuck in the middle of something. How can we use this time of isolation to maneuver through these perilous times? How do we come out on the other side? Let’s think about that together.

And in light of thinking about all these issues that face us, I’ve just released a new product called Designing Your New Normal Mindset. This simple, yet powerful 4-module course can help you decide how you are going to face the future, your future, on your terms. Designing Your New Normal Mindset is now available at an introductory price of $9.99. 

As always, I am here to serve you in any way I can. If you decide to purchase the course, feel free to contact me with questions, concerns or comments. I welcome your input.