Question: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: One. But the lightbulb must want to change.
You’ve probably heard that riddle before. But even though it may make you smile it does get down to the heart of the matter of changing your life. To change your life, you must want it.
Our habits drive our lives. They make things easier because we don’t have to think about them. We just do them.
We brush our teeth twice a day. We have that morning cup of coffee to get us going. We take a shower daily.
Habits are powerful. We don’t have to make decisions about many of the things we do daily. They are simple habits.
Have you ever tried to change a habit and replace it with a new one that serves you better? I know I have. But most of the time, I failed. I tried to change too much all at once. Or I tried to change too many things.
When I tried to count calories by writing down everything I ate, I failed. When I tried to cut out all sugar in my diet, I failed. When I tried to exercise 30 minutes every day, I failed.
So, what did I do? I quit trying.
But what if I changed one tiny thing consistently? How might that affect my life?
Check out this video to see how one microhabit and using a habit tracker changed my life.
And you know what? If you start doing one thing differently until it becomes a habit, it changes your perspective about things. I found that what I drank at meals or snack time wasn’t that important. I could focus more on enjoying the food I ate. I also found that I started feeling better by drinking water instead of Pepsi. And then, I started feeling better about myself because I was successful at doing something to improve my health.
It was a tiny microhabit. But it had powerful results.
So why is it better to make tiny, incremental change in your life instead of revamping your entire life at once? Because microhabits are simply doable
They are easier to start.
Often, the reason we have such a hard time making changes in our lives is that we just don’t know where to begin. The whole process seems so daunting and overwhelming. With microhabits, the difficulty is removed. When you’re only changing one very small thing, it barely feels like a change at all. In fact, it can be kind of fun trying out an incremental change just to see what kind of result you get.
They are easier to sustain.
While big changes tend to get real old really fast (like changing from a diet full of processed foods to something Keto or Paleo), micro-changes (like adding a vegetable to every meal) never feel hard at all. The simplicity of incremental change carries momentum all on its own.
They are fairly painless.
The big changes are sometimes so sweeping that they can actually hurt. Imagine throwing out every piece of unhealthy food in your kitchen. Then imagine standing there staring into the abyss of an empty refrigerator trying to figure out what to eat. You have nothing left that your actually liked to eat!
The nice thing about microhabits is that the change is in increments. So, if you’re working to change your diet, you may be only changing one food – like giving up soda – while still enjoying the things you love.
And ultimately, you may find it much easier to start adding other healthy microhabits in your life.
They use less energy.
Those great big changes are only going to wear you out. It’s like going for a full-fledged workout when you typically rarely leave the couch. Your body certainly isn’t ready for that kind of work, and the whole process (finding workout clothes and equipment, going to the gym, knowing what machine to use and how long, and for how many reps) can be pretty daunting.
Microhabits encourage you to take things slow, leaving you with more energy for the rest of your day. So instead of worrying about all that time at the gym, maybe you’re just deciding to take the stairs at work or to park further away from the building, so you get that extra walking in. That bypasses all that energy you’d spend going to and from the gym, and still gives you some exercise you wouldn’t normally get.
They keep you motivated.
Great big goals can feel a million miles away and easily leave you discouraged.
Microhabits set smaller goals that are achieved in tiny increments. This means you get to your destination a lot faster, leaving you with a feeling of accomplishment. That feeling helps keep you motivated as you continue to work towards change. Creating microhabits is a self-sustaining cycle of change and momentum.
While these might not seem like big achievements, the feeling of having done something special is still perfectly valid and will make you feel good about yourself, and what you’re doing.
Is there something you would like to change in your life? Can you simplify it into a microhabit?
Here is a simple habit tracker I designed and used to establish my habit! My One Thing Daily Habit Trackeris an undated printable that you could print out to complete or use in digital format and save in a file. You have a choice of three colors – green, pink, or white, and can use it over and over because it is undated.
And start your tiny, incremental change toward huge rewards in your life today!
Disclosure: My blog posts sometimes contain affiliate links. This means I earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase, which is at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
I’m Vicki Peel, former home economics teacher and educational administrator. If you are not receiving my emails, coupons, and freebies, go to my website – https://HERLifehacks.com, and pick up my free copy of HER Heritage HOMEwork Checklist. I will not share your information with anyone, and all the content you will receive as part of our community is free. I may occasionally promote someone else’s paid content, offer a product for your consideration or share an item that I think might be of use to you. However, you are under no obligation to purchase anything – ever. So, sign up now so you won’t miss anything during our July through September focus on LIFESTYLE!
When we think of legacies, our first inclination is to think about what we leave behind for future generations when we die.
But a legacy is not about death. It is about life. It’s about how you are living your life right now.
Most of us would prefer not to think too much about creating a legacy. Why? Because thinking about creating a legacy makes us think about death, and that is too dark a concept to consider right now. After all, we’ll have time to think about that later. Right? Maybe, maybe not.
“Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever; you just have to live.” ~ Natalie Babbitt
What is a Legacy?
Whether you think about creating a legacy or not, you’re doing it anyway. You create a legacy by simply living your life. Everything you do or did is creating your legacy. So, the question becomes – are you living your life with intention so you will be remembered the way you want to be remembered?
“Legacy. What is a legacy? It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.” ~ Lin Manual Miranda
Most of us think about a legacy as something passed on to the next generation after our death. And we may even think that legacies are built and transferred by people who have a great deal of money or influence. Great people in history may come to mind. And if that is how you think of a legacy, you’d be wrong.
We don’t have to do spectacular things or have great wealth to leave an important legacy.
A legacy can be built by simply living a life of kindness. Just showing kindness to people we love and people we meet can have rippling effects that we may not even be aware of.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” ~ Maya Angelou
A legacy is built day by day in the little things we do and say that define who we are. A legacy is about memories – sharing memories of what you know about your parents and grandparents and the memories they passed down to you. A legacy is about creating memories with your family in the present so your children and grandchildren will know about you and previous generations, how you lived and what you lived for.
It may also include possessions, which don’t need to be possessions of great monetary value. Their value comes from the meaning they have in your life and what has been passed on to you by previous generations. It is about connections. Connections about where you came from that help to define who you are.
Why is a legacy important?
Simply put, people need to know that life matters. That they matter. That you matter.
Legacies are about hope. Hope that the future for your children and grandchildren will be even better than today. That is especially important today – right now. The world has experienced monumental change. In just the period of a few years, we have seen changes we never dreamed we would experience as the result of a global pandemic. Even the word pandemic wasn’t on our radar before we were in the midst of it. These experiences alone make us think about the fragility of life, it’s meaning, and what the future might look like.
Preserving family histories is valuable. Learning about who came before you and what they were like and what they experienced helps you know who you are. Understanding how previous generations sacrificed and paved the way for the next generation provides a sense of security.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
How do you build a legacy?
The short answer is to live every day with intention, doing the things that matter the most to you and realizing that how you live is a model for the next generation.
People have a need to know where they came from and what that means to them. And while there are many things you can do to create your own legacy, the focus for this article is learning about the legacies of previous generations and preserving family histories.
How do you do that? How do you learn about and preserve family histories? You ask questions.
My daughter gave my mother a lasting gift one Mother’s Day – a journal to record the details of her life. And thanks to my niece, she did just that. My niece asked my mother every one of the questions in the journal and recorded her answers. When my mother passed away, I copied every page of that journal to give to my sisters so we each had a copy to keep and treasure.
My daughter also gave that same journal to my mother-in-law, her paternal grandmother. And my husband planned to ask his mother the questions and record her responses. However, she passed away before he got around to it, and he regrets missing that opportunity to know his mother a little better.
Even though I have treasured memories of my parents and grandparents, I also regret not having asked probing questions about their what their lives were like growing up. What was it like growing up through the Great Depression of the 1920’s? What were their homes like as a child? What do they remember about their parents and grandparents? And so many more questions that I will never know the answers to.
I realize that youth is not the time to ask questions about the past. Youth is a time for present reality and future dreams. The process of aging creates time for reflection and remembering and wanting to know more about past generations.
And that is why I created “My Life, My Legacy” – a journal of questions for anyone who recognizes the value of passing on their personal history before passing on. It may be something you want to complete for your children and grandchildren, who may not recognize the value of preserving oral histories of their family until it is too late for them to ask the questions. Or there may be a family member whose memories about their life you want to record.
Disclosure: My blog posts sometimes contain affiliate links. This means I earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase, which is at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
I’m Vicki Peel, former home economics teacher and educational administrator. If you are not receiving my emails, coupons, and freebies, look for the Subscribe block (below right) and submit your contact information. I will not share your information with anyone, and all the content you will receive as part of our community is free. I may occasionally promote someone else’s paid content, offer a product for your consideration or share an item that I think might be of use to you. However, you are under no obligation to purchase anything – ever. So, sign up now so you won’t miss anything during our October through December focus on HOME STYLE!
Are your Christmas holidays full of family tradition? Mine are. And I've realized through the years how important it is to preserve traditions and memories and pass them on.
The Christmas Legacy Planner and Plus Bundle provides the tools to capture traditions and memories for future generations.
Click on the image to see all the tools available to help you do this!
This is a lengthy video, so I’ve broken it down into parts. The numbers are for times where you can locate each section.
Disclosure: My blog posts sometimes contain affiliate links. This means I earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase, which is at no additional cost to you. Thank you!
I’m Vicki Peel, former home economics teacher and educational administrator. If you are not receiving my emails, coupons, and freebies, look for the Subscribe block (below right) and submit your contact information. I will not share your information with anyone, and all the content you will receive as part of our community is free. I may occasionally promote someone else’s paid content, offer a product for your consideration or share an item that I think might be of use to you. However, you are under no obligation to purchase anything – ever. So, sign up now so you won’t miss anything during our October through December focus on HOME STYLE!
In a previous post entitled Roots and Wings, I spoke of Henry Ward Beecher’s beautiful quote, “there are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots…the other wings”. The roots of my childhood made me who I am today. This post addresses those roots and how they are reflected in my current home.
I have many tangible examples of those roots throughout my home. I really did not realize how much my home was filled with these items until I began to list and take note of them. Some have been updated to fit in my personal style. Others are displayed as sentimental reminders of special family members on both sides of our families.
As I chronicle the expression of my personal roots through items in my home, I will be revealing them categorically by the room in which they are found. In this post, I am sharing general items that reflect my (and sometimes my husband’s) roots, which include doors, items in hallway and porch posts.
Welcome to me and
my home as you enter
through the front door.
Welcome to me and my home as you enter through the front door. Even as a child, I thought the exterior doors of our home were especially beautiful. They were finished with an almost black tar-like substance, which also covered many of the pieces of furniture. I did not realize how pervasive this finish was until I began to refinish the doors.
The front door of my current home was also the front door of my childhood home. From what I know about my grandparents and when they were married, I assume my childhood home was built in the early 1900s. Therefore, I imagine this door was made prior to 1920.
I love the detail and design of the door. The outside has raised carvings and a small ledge just below the glass. I wish I could remember when I refinished it, but I’m sure it was long before we built my current home. My guess is that would be approximately 50 years ago, probably just before or soon after my wedding.
I do remember it took hours of scraping off the tar-like finish. It took many coats of paint remover and hour upon hour of sanding, which was all done by hand. The wood turned out to be a reddish-brown color, most likely permanently stained by the original finish that had been applied to it. So, I left it the color that emerged and simply applied some type of oil to protect the wood. I’m not sure what I originally used, but now I occasionally wipe it down with Danish or teak oil.
This door became the front door of my home in the mid-’90s during the first remodel of our home. I commissioned a local artist who created stained glass items to design, create and install a new glass insert. We also installed a lock. None of the doors in my childhood home had locks. We never even thought about locking a door. The porch doors had a simple latch that was used mainly to keep the screen doors from blowing open by the wind. But we seldom secured them.
When we built our home, our front door was a double door. When we changed to this single front door, we installed sidelights to fill the remaining space. The local artist also created matching glass inserts for the sidelights.
I love the imperfection
in those doors…
a reminder of the
imperfection in all
of us.
These double doors are the entrance to the study. In my childhood home, they were exterior doors near my parent’s bedroom, opening onto the left side of the large wrap-around porch. They also were finished with the black tar-like substance on the exterior side of the doors.
However, unlike the front door, I paid a furniture refinisher to remove the original finishes. An interesting fact I discovered afterward was that one of the doors was originally installed backward. If you look closely in the picture, you can see that the molding on the panels of one of the doors is raised and it is inset on the other door. Apparently, when they were first hung, one of them was installed backward! I don’t think my parents or grandparents ever recognized that fact. And I don’t think I would have recognized it had it not been for the removal of the original finish, exposing the wood in its natural state. But I love the imperfection in those doors, making them all the more dear to me – a reminder of the imperfection in all of us.
I commissioned the same artist who created the glass insert for the front door to create matching glass inserts for these doors to replace the original plain glass.
You had to go
through this door
onto the porch
to get to the kitchen.
The above door was an interior door in my childhood home. It opened from the hallway that connected the front entrance with the back porch. You had to go through this door onto the porch to get to the kitchen. In the wintertime, it was a very cold trek through this door onto the porch and to the kitchen. But the hallways were also unheated, so there was a lot of rushing to get from one heated room to another!
This door needed a lot less work to refinish. Since it was an interior door, it did not have the tar-like finish on either side. However, it was not tall enough to fit the exterior door opening in my home (from study to the side of the wrap-around porch). So, my contractor, who was my next-door neighbor, added about 6 inches of wood to the bottom, which I stained to match the door and had covered with a brass kickplate on both sides. Unless you examined the door very closely, you would never know it had been altered from its original state.
I requested that
particular post be
placed at the front
entrance and the
words of its origin
kept unpainted.
The above picture illustrates something I really treasure. When my childhood home was torn down, my father saved the front porch posts. When we remodeled the exterior of my home in the mid-’90s, we added a wrap-around porch and used those original posts. As we examined the posts to pick out the least damaged ones, we found an inscription on one of them where the paint had worn off. It read “Lilley Bros. Williamston, NC”. Those porch posts and I assume all the lumber and doors in my childhood home, had been cut at a sawmill owned and operated by three brothers, one of which was my great-grandfather! What an exciting find!
When the posts were added to my new front porch, I requested that particular post be placed at the front entrance and the words of its origin kept unpainted.
Also, the porch posts were too short for my porch, so we had to add a block of wood at the bottom, which we hid with molding. As with the side exterior door, you would never know the entire post was not original.
The shelves were
originally one long
board that was
13.5″ wide and
almost 2″ thick.
The above bookshelf needs a detailed explanation, partly because I want to record what I can remember about its origin and partly because I want my children and grandchildren to know the story.
There were many barns on our farm, and they were named according to their use. The Mule Barn, of course, was home to our mules. I can remember having seven mules. I can only remember the names of two of them, Molly and Big Red. During the day, they roamed and grazed in the “lot”, which was fenced off behind the house and barns. There was no fence on the back side of the lot, because it was naturally fenced by a creek.
In the evening, my grandfather would open the gate to allow the mules to go into their stalls in the barn. They would first stop at the water trough, which was the front of the pump house (this housed the water pump for the entire home). My grandfather and I would stand between the water trough and the road to direct the mules into their stalls. But each mule knew where to go, and they would obediently enter their assigned stall after a long drink of water.
My grandfather and I would then lock the doors of the stalls and climb the stairs to the upper loft of the barn where peanut hay was stored in bales. We opened the bales and dropped the hay into holes in the floor. The mules then ate it from triangular-shaped, slatted bins in their own stalls. In the morning, we would reverse the process by opening the gate and then the stall doors and the mules stopped by the water trough on the way to the lot for the day.
Now, to get back to the bookshelf in the picture. In the first stall on the left side of the barn was a long trough at the front of the stall. Although the details are a bit fuzzy in my mind, I think we put additional hay in it for the mules.
So, many years later, my husband and I removed the thick heavy board that was the front of that mule trough. It was so thick and heavy that we needed a chainsaw to cut it out.
We made this bookshelf from that piece of wood. The shelves were originally one long board that was 13.5 inches wide and almost 2 inches thick. Although I sanded and sanded the board, it never got completely smooth, because I assume it was rough-hewn. So, I’m guessing that particular piece of lumber was cut in the early days of the brother’s sawmill.
We used black industrial pipe and flange fittings to create the unit. Although we are happy with the results, especially being able to save that historic piece of lumber, it was not as easy as we thought it might be!
It was originally
the stair railing
of the home
in which my
father-in-law grew up.
When we built our home, we had this special stair railing installed. It was originally the stair railing of the home in which my father-in-law grew up. I love how smooth it feels to run my hand down it as I descend the stairs. And it means a lot to know our home has historic roots for my husband as well as me.
I realize this was a long post, but I wrote it for myself and my children and grandchildren. The My Home page of my blog is where I chronicle my story starting with my historical roots and going through the planning and building of my home and the many changes I’ve made to it to its current status.
This page is more of a personal journal than a blog with tips for readers, although I will share tips as I write about my home remodeling and redecorating.
It is a way for me to chronicle my personal heritage and give homage to it and how it has shaped me through the years. It is also a place for me to create an archive of the evolution of my own home.
Henry Ward Beecher wrote, “There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots…the other, wings.”
My roots continue to guide me to this day. The house in which I was reared is gone now, but parts of it live on in me and my current home. This section is more of a personal journal than a blog with tips for readers. It is a way for me to chronicle my personal heritage and give homage to it and how it has shaped me through the years.
That is my grandfather standing in front of the home where I grew up. He was born in 1900 and at the age of 75, he painted the exterior of the entire house by himself! Hard work was no stranger to everyone in my family, which was one of the “roots” I learned as a child.
My parents and I (and eventually three sisters) lived with my paternal grandparents. The house had four bedrooms downstairs and four bedrooms upstairs. There were three wood heaters (which was later changed to oil heaters). One was in the living room, one in the dining room and the third one in my parent’s bedroom. To get heat to the upstairs bedrooms (only two of the four), a metal grate was installed in the floor so heat could rise up from the downstairs heater. It was never enough! In the winter, my sisters and I would warm a small blanket on the heater, then ball it up to keep it warm, run upstairs and wrap it around our feet as we snuggled under many layers of homemade quilts.
There was only one full bathroom, which was upstairs, and it was unheated. We looked forward to summer, when we could take a bath in the bathtub. In the winter, we used a pan of warm water placed on top of the heater and took what we called “bird baths”.
The kitchen and dining room were only accessible from a back porch. Also, on that back porch was a half bath, which was also unheated. Needless to say, you didn’t waste time in there in the wintertime!
As I write about the circumstances of that beloved home, I realize how poor and difficult life sounded back then. However, that is not how I remember it. Instead, I remember the love of both parents and grandparents, the freedom to roam through the farm and forests, the things we did together as a family and the great meals my grandmother cooked.
Summers were especially fun. Naturally, we didn’t have air conditioning, but if there was a breeze stirring, you could find it on the corner of the front porch. We would often have suppers on the porch, with lemonade and sandwiches. As the day turned to night, my father and grandfather would entertain us with stories of the “good ole days”.
I learned how to cook and sew from my grandmother. The first time I made biscuits, I burned them and hid them behind the heater in the dining room. Since my grandfather ALWAYS had biscuits with his meals, he asked about his biscuits. He ate those burned biscuits and told me they were “just right”. But I got better at making biscuits and learned to cook other things as well.
I remember when I was about 10 years old, my grandmother set up her sewing machine on the porch and taught me how to make a gathered skirt. I sewed three rows of rick rack around the bottom. Rick rack is a zigzag trim to accessorize home-sewn items. I also remember that my rows of rick rack were about as crooked as the trim itself!
The “roots” I developed as a child have served me well through the years. I cherish my childhood memories and those of the wonderful parents and grandparents I continue to try to emulate. I have tried to pass both the “roots and wings” I developed as a child on to my children and grandchildren.
As for my childhood home, it was torn down after my grandparents died and my parents moved to a smaller home next door. But, you can see remnants of it in future posts and the impact it had on my life.