It’s something we’ve all been waiting for – the end of 2020. A new beginning – 2021! But is it? Exactly what do you expect to be different on January 1, 2021?

In 2020 the world changed, and we had no choice but to change. It was thrust upon us and there were lifestyle changes that we had to make to adapt to the new world around us. But did we thrive throughout this process? Or did we just survive?

What are your expectations for 2021? Something better? We need something to look forward to. We need to believe that our lives will be more within our control. 2020 was a year that continually spiraled out of control. And it made us feel out of control.

So, let’s consider our personal expectations for gaining – or regaining some semblance of control in our lives.

Do you make resolutions at the beginning of every new year? Why?

I don’t think I’ve ever made a New Year’s resolution at which I’ve actually succeeded. So, when you think about it, I have set myself up for failure every time I’ve resolved to make life changes. Every resolution I’ve declared had to do with something I wanted to change about myself. But change is evolutionary, not revolutionary. Let me say that again. Personal change is evolutionary, not revolutionary!

What does that mean in terms of our behavior? It all begins with our mindset. If we don’t change that, we have no chance of changing our actions. That doesn’t mean we have to do a 180, a complete turnaround of the way we’ve been thinking. But it does mean we need to be intentional with how we approach life and how we deal with circumstances and situations that make up our daily living.

First of all, let’s consider January 1, 2021, as just another day, like any other day. Change your mindset to see every day as a new beginning. Every day is a chance to make life better for ourselves and those around us.

Next, if we think there are changes we need to make in our lives, start with just one thing. Make it a little thing. And do it every day. Make it become second nature to you – make it a habit. That is setting yourself up for success, not failure. 

And finally, I propose that we start this new year being kinder to ourselves. Yes, be kind to yourself first. Because when you do, you are kinder to others. When you take care of yourself, you are in a position to take care of others. That is not being selfish. It is being considerate of others by treating yourself with kindness and respect, which in turn extends to others. It’s somewhat a twist of the Golden Rule of doing to others as you would have them do to you. Do good to yourself and then do good to others.

Need some ideas on how to implement this process?

If you need to start with simple changes to your mindset, I suggest my ecourse, Designing Your New Normal Mindset. It consists of easy activities to identify your current mindset and guide you to make mindset changes that work for you. Check it out here while still at introductory pricing!

If you need to keep up with progress on the one thing you are going to change about yourself, click and download my free gift to you, My One Thing Daily Habit Tracker. Keeping track of your progress helps ensure your success in developing habits that naturally become part of your daily life. (Your free tracker is interactive, so you can complete and save it online or print it out and complete it!)

If you think self-care is selfish, download my free report – Self-Care Hacks. And start treating yourself with the respect you deserve. That makes it second nature to extend the same kind of respect to others.

All my best to make 2021 a truly successful, joyful, and peaceful year for you!

Are you ready for some hygge? I know I am. The weather is turning cooler and even more days are expected to be spent at home and inside. If “cabin fever” has not already set it, you might want to prepare to ward it off, and if it has already set it, keep reading for some ways to send it packing.

First, you might be asking, “what the heck is hygge”? It’s pronounced “Hoo-gah”. I know – how can something that is spelled like that be pronounced “Hoo-gah”!?

“Hygge… is a Scandinavian way of life that celebrates coziness, shared meals, and companionable interactions with loved ones. Emphasizing warmth, kinship, and an appreciation for the little things, hygge is a perspective on life that started in Denmark and has contributed to the nation’s consistently high happiness ratings. Now, Americans are turning to hygge as a way to find happiness from within.”   

Brinton Parker, (December 10, 2019), 11 Ways to Embrace the Hygge Lifestyle This Season. PopSugar

Hygge is a great way to embrace self-care that extends to all family members. Think about all the things you love about your home and the things you like to do there that provide that much-needed extra layer of comfort.

I just put together my hygge list to support and comfort me:

• Time alone in the comfy leather chair in my office for journaling my thoughts and renewing myself spiritually
• Adjusting my power chair in the den and watching a PBS Nova nature series program with my husband. (I love the ones about the big cats!)
• Sipping on a warm cup of cocoa with mini-marshmallows
• Decorating my home with items of personal family memories (I’ll show you around soon and point out all the “old things” that are so special to me!)
• Watching HGTV – any shows on HGTV (personally, I love the Property Brothers and Home Town, among many others!)
• Putting on an eye mask and listening to soothing music as I take a short afternoon nap
• Curling up (OK – I mean metaphorically curling; it has been a long time since my knees allowed me to actually curl up!) with my iPad to play Candy Crush, Soda Crush, Hearts and Rummy. I’m ashamed to tell you how high I’ve gotten on Candy Crush. I am curbing my “addiction”.
• Playing Sudoku and Kakuro. There is just something satisfying about being able to solve one of these puzzles.

Now, how about you? Do you have a hygge list, even if you don’t call it that? Comment or email me at vicki@herlifehacks.com and let me know one or two things on your hygge list. I would love to be able to write a post of collective hygge experiences.

Want to know more about hygge? Here are links to several popular books about hygge.

https://amzn.to/3jLmUId is the link to the book in the featured photo at the beginning of this article.

And here is a link to two popular books on Amazon – https://amzn.to/35SUgA6  .

Finally, coloring books are very comforting activities on the hygge list of a lot of people. Here is where you can get a hygge coloring book: https://amzn.to/382GwW9.

Get started now on your hygge fall and winter. It will help comfort you through these times.

You know that life isn’t fair. And not just because you’ve been told that but because you’ve experienced it for yourself to the extreme these past few months. Trying to deal with something that is not just unfair but even a complete injustice, can really play havoc with your happiness if you allow it. 

To live through times like we’ve all been experiencing requires special attention to how we are coping and taking action to counteract the damaging effects of becoming a victim to circumstances.

Maybe one or more of these suggestions can help you deal with these unjust times. Find one that speaks to you and focus on applying it in your life.

1. Be Compassionate to Yourself – The one person in the universe that can treat you with the utmost fairness and kindness is yourself. At the very least, make sure you are being compassionate to yourself because when it comes down to it, you are your own best friend.
2. Focus on Now – Learning how to be more mindful about what is happening in your life right now is important. If watching the news makes you feel particularly bad right now, focus on you and your family and the positive ways that interaction can sustain you. Look for ways to enhance your family’s well-being. Make things fair, at least for yourself and your family. 
3. Separate Facts from Emotion – While some types of injustice, such as systemic racism for example, are rage-inducing even when you look at them on a factual basis, sometimes the facts will help you cope. For example, when the media gets obsessed about something, it always seems worse than it really is. Avoid social media that is filled with extreme opinions expressed through hatred. Check the facts; don’t trust your emotions.
4. Learn to Breathe Right – Did you know that most people don’t even breathe correctly. To breathe right so that your oxygen levels are the way they should be and to reduce the anxiety, you should breathe into your diaphragm like a baby. Sometimes, just taking a deep, letting-go breath (or several of them) can ease the anxiety of the moment.
5. Eat Right and Exercise – There isn’t much that can replace good nutrition for avoiding depression. While it isn’t always going to rid you of it entirely, it will help you avoid nutritional deficiencies that can lead to depression. Moving more will also help you feel better because it’s going to help you feel more alive and in tune with your body.
6. Sleep Enough Each Night – The next most important item after food is to ensure that you are sleeping a full 7 to 9 hours every single night. When you sleep enough, you give your body and mind time to repair. Take time to wind down before going to bed by doing things that comfort you or even bore you to sleepiness!
7. Avoid Alcohol and Drugs – This is especially important when you are feeling down, angry, or depressed. Most drugs aren’t going to do anything but enhance the emotions, causing you to be even more depressed. Of course, if you need prescription medication, that is different.
8. Avoid Depression Triggers – Most people have triggers that make them get worse when it comes to depression. If you know what yours are, just avoid them. That doesn’t mean that you’re putting your head in the sand. You can always help in another way if it’s interfering with you dealing with the injustice.
9. Help Other People – Find a way to get outside of yourself and help others. Everyone is suffering in some way. Sometimes a simple phone call or card can do wonders for those feeling isolated and alone. Fresh baked goods or soup left at a neighbor’s house can be so comforting.
10. See a Counselor – A large number of people can improve their lives by acknowledging they cannot go it alone and need to seek therapy. If you are struggling and worried about depression, realize that sometimes depression is not situational; sometimes it’s chemical. Seeing a professional can help you identify which you’re dealing with so you can learn ways to deal with the unfairness of life without depression.

It’s one thing to work toward a better world, but it’s another to let it ruin your world right now. Focus on doing what you can as an individual, but also focus on the here and now so that you can live a satisfying life even though things aren’t fair yet. If you look at the world historically, you will know for sure that the world really is becoming a more inclusive and fairer world that puts justice first. It’s just happening slowly.

Is your current mindset helping you cope or does it need some adjustments? My simple ecourse guides you through some fun and revealing activities that will help you choose a mindset that will serve you both now in the future. Take a look: Designing Your New Normal Mindset. Get it now before the price increases!

You’ve heard it said that we should let go of the past. You’ve also heard that some things are easier said than done. Letting go of the past and moving forward certainly fits under the category of “easier said than done”.

William Faulkner said, “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.” Without getting into a literary discussion of what Faulkner meant, my reference to the quote is to acknowledge that our past has certainly influenced who we are in the present and will most likely continue to shape our future. However, if we recognize its impact, we are in a better position to either use your past or let it go for an even more positive life from this point forward.

While there may indeed be things in your past that may have limited you in many ways, let’s focus on the most recent past, specifically most of the current year.

What has been the impact on your life of the lockdowns, social distancing, and worldwide chaos? How have you responded?

Common responses in times of extreme stress are to “flow, flee or fight”.

People who flow may be simply trying to weather the storms of life. They accept what is and wait for what is to come. They may feel they have little control to make decisions that impact their lives in positive ways. Just getting through each day is as much as they can handle.

People who flee may be denying the reality of the situation by responding as if they can continue life as it was before the changes thrust upon them. In this case, they may ignore the warnings about COVID-19 and continue to live their lives as if those dangers do not exist.

Then, there are the fighters. Those people acknowledge the dangers and arm themselves with knowledge and the means to manage their lives, even if there are many things out of their control. They embrace frequent hand washing, social distancing, and wearing masks in social situations as their best chances to survive and thrive in the current situation.

Which one are you – are you flowing, fleeing, or fighting? Which do you want to do?

Whatever your response to these questions, it’s more important to know how to do it. Most people will eventually come to grips with why they should do it. They get stuck on actually taking steps to make it happen.

Give yourself permission to let go of the past. That is an important step. And it’s probably a step you may have to repeat many times. Just telling yourself to let go may not be enough. Reflect on the parts of your past that will give you strength and recognize how negative past experiences can also contribute to your inner strength. Learn from your past experiences.

Take time to reflect upon how you want to live your life going forward. This involves coming to conclusions about what is working for you now and what is not and making decisions about how you want your life to be in the future.

Don’t hide from your past. People try to pretend certain aspects of their past did not happen, especially the more embarrassing moments. However, this may cause them to come back to you with a vengeance since they are bottling up within you. Acknowledge everything about your past but commit to pushing forward. Continuing to flee from your past is not the answer. Author James Baldwin wrote that “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

Keep a journal of your experiences. Simply recording your thoughts may help you see new and better ways of responding to life challenges.

Finally, where do you want to go from here? If your answer is to go back to the way things were, you may find yourself stuck and unable to do anything but flow with what happens to you. The pandemic changes everything. But how you change is up to you.

If you’re still unsure of what you can do to move your life forward, perhaps you would benefit from my mini-course Designing Your New Normal Mindset.  Click here to see if this may be a good starting point for you. There has never been a better time to reflect on your current situation by letting go of the past and taking charge of your future.