Dictionary.com defines poise as a “state of balance or equilibrium”; or “a dignified, self-confident manner”. Does that feel like you? Is it something you want for yourself?
I’ve always admired people who I consider having poise and grace. It is not a state of arrogance. It is a quality that indicates someone is comfortable with themselves. Comfortable enough to know that they are enough and can handle what happens for them – not to them. That level of confidence means they know there will be rough times in life – that’s just life. But they also know they can take whatever happens and learn from it, grow from it, and make it work to their advantage.
Maybe I’ve admired those people with poise and grace because I never quite felt I attained it. And I’ve always wanted to.
But here, and now – I feel my life is transforming. I feel that I am transforming into who I was meant to be. It may be just the understanding that comes with age. Or it may be that years of working toward being a better person, a better me is actually paying off.
What about you? If you feel like life has become predictable, unfulfilling, and boring, maybe it’s time for a fresh start. Deciding to make a change doesn’t mean you have to turn your life upside down, but it is an opportunity to stand back and revise your current way of life.
Whether it’s a lifestyle, location, or career change, there are some simple things you can do right now to climb out of that rut and get some positive energy back into your life.
Consider these five simple ways to gain or regain the poise you need to live your life with confidence, peace and joy.
1. Discover or Rediscover What Makes You Happy
Happiness is an elusive state of being for many people. They often think that the accumulation of money or things will make them happy. But when or if they get to that level of accomplishment, they find they are no happier than they were before.
Remember the quote about happiness that is attributed to Abraham Lincoln? “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
That quote might be a good starting point for you to think about what makes you happy? What lifts your spirits and puts a spring in your step? What makes your heart sing and your energy levels skyrocket? Some people feel happiest out in nature, while others prefer sports or reading. Maybe you love the arts or helping people. Make a list of what makes you happy and what you can do to focus on bringing more joy into your life.
2. Practice Saying Yes
You’ve probably heard it said that you should say no more. You may need to say “no” to some things other people want you to do and “yes” to things you want to do. Think about how that might change your life.
Most people are so busy with the everyday life that they don’t make time to get out of their comfort zone and do something different. When was the last time you tried something new or challenging? Be open to new experiences, start saying yes to yourself, and choose to do things that feel good.
3. Make a Stop Doing List
Once you start saying yes to the things that feel good, you need to practice saying no. You need a stop doing list! You’re probably well aware of the bad habits you’ve fallen into and the things you do that don’t bring you joy. While there are some things you have no control over, see what energy-draining tasks you can eliminate from your life. Write a list to remind yourself of the things you can choose not to do, and free up time for the things that make your heart soar.
Most people have way too much stuff in their lives. Look around you right now and see what’s holding you back. Clutter includes spending hours scrolling through social media, limiting beliefs, and bad lifestyle habits as well as all that junk in the kitchen drawer. You may find there is just as much clutter in your head as in your home.
How might decluttering your mind and your home make a positive impact in your life?
5. Say No to Fear
Perhaps the single most empowering thing you can do to make the life changes you want is to walk away from fear. Fear will stop you from taking risks, big or small. It makes you too afraid to try anything new and holds you back from reaching your potential.
Which of these FEAR acronyms describes you?
FEAR – Forget Everything And Run
FEAR – False Evidence/Expectations Appearing Real
FEAR – Face Everything And Rise
Make a commitment to yourself to take back control of your life and leap into a fresh start. Turn your FEAR into Face Everything and Rise
None of us are completely happy with who we are. We are always wanting more – to have more – to be more. But changing things in your life that allow you to be the person you were meant to be is actually freeing. Staying stuck in habits that hold you back is what’s hard.
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